The uhh, scene parody thingys
by Mouse64
Summary: Random scenes gone wrong. the continue button, cloud, keyholes, and squirrels, and chaos.
1. Sora's true love

This Fic is just a collection of sleazy scenes that I made up to make fun of all things Kingdom hearts. If you don't laugh I will find you and kill you (I keep the Masamune in my basement for these types of things)  
  
Ok Ok Ok, so this may not be the best thing you have ever read, but it will not be the worst (That title goes to my brother :P) Disclamer: I don't own kingdom hearts, the name sora, final fantasy 7, final fantasy 8, final fantasy 9, final fantasy 10, the characters Donald, goofy, kairi (that name is sleazy), Riku (neither the chick from Final Fantasy 10, nor this wacko from this game), My car, my money, my soul (sold to the devil for $5 ( ), my life (also sold on the black market for $5) nor my only computer in my lowly cardboard box.  
  
This takes place during the cut scene after you come back from the darkness.  
  
A dark shadow crept up from behind Kairi "Sora!" Yelled out kairi "this time I'll protect you" (sorry guys I havn't seen the cut scene in a while) Then the darkness swallowed up Sora. He heard voices and the music had changed (Which either means a romantic scene or a boss fight or a romantic boss fight (!!!) ) then suddenly out of nowhere he reappeared. Kairi was delighted and looked into those big pretty eyes (kudos to know the reference) as Sora said to her, "Oh Kairi I was swallowed up by darkness I was afraid. Everything was dark then suddenly I saw the light, and my heart was free. I went into the light and so I was able to return and be with you once again." Donald and Goofy stayed back to let them talk, for they hadn't seen each other since the secret place on their island. Kairi burst out, "Oh Sora you are back now! That's all that matters!" Donald walked over and said, "Uhh Sora, that wasn't her." Sora was confused until Donald cleared it up, "It was the Continue Button *Hallulah*" Sora's face lighted up, and he turned towards Kairi. "Oh screw her then, I'll go out with the continue button!" The party left, leaving a very confused Kairi behind only to be blown out of a nearby window by a freak gust of wind. The party wondered what happened to her, and Sora went in search of the elusive continue button to profess his love for it. (He only found it after the final battle and about 8,102,023 times fighting Sephiroth)  
  
Ok guy this was written by my bro I am just posting it.  
  
Next time "what! I didn't lock the keyholes?" "that's right sora you just expect to stick a key in a hole and take it out and its locked!" Leon answered back. 


	2. The keyholes, locked?

This, Chapter 2, takes place after the original game Kingdom hearts Disclamer: I am not Walt Disney. Nor am I the CEO of Squaresoft. If I was then I could stop with these stupid disclaimers and sleazy parodies and actually make another game like Kingdom Hearts. If I were them I would own all that stuff, but actually all I own of theirs are the cardboard boxes they throw away that are now my home ^_^  
  
Destiny Island, c. 2054 Sora walked into the sunlight, the day seemed to be another great one. It had been a year after he broke up with the continue button, for seeing it was simply too painful (well, hey, dying is very painful!!!), and so he was back with good ol' Kairi. She walked out behind him, and as they both looked up, they both saw a funny looking thing. A telescope cleverly made out of water, a turtle shell, squirrel hide, glass, and a telescope proved what Sora thought. "Hey, that's one tricked up gummy ship!" Kairi wondered aloud, 'Well uh, if they worlds are separate, then how did it get here? Just then Sephiroth jumped out and killed eight of those nameless guys who stand in the background before Cloud jumped out behind him and wacked him over the head with the sword (the thing weighs a ton!) As Sephiroth fell, Cloud looked at Sora. Sora, stunned, asked the obvious question: "How the heck did you get here with the worlds locked?" Cloud glared at Sora, and wacked him too. "Well stupid, you didn't lock the stupid doors!" Kairi mentioned that Sora had. "Well, moron, he just pointed the stupid key at the lock. Do you just stick a key in a lock to lock it? NO! You have to turn the damned key! Did he? NO! MORON!" Cloud wacked the now moaning Sora on the head again. Well moron, better pack it up and move it out! With that cloud threw Kairi and Sora into a gummy box, threw it up into the air, and slammed it with his sword so it soared out of the atmosphere. It turns out that the box landed on the end of the worlds, so Sora was reunited with his beloved continue button quite a few times before getting a fire-g and being able to leave the world, battered and beaten quite a bit. Cloud just laughed.  
  
A/N Dude.. Could turn this into a story eh? BUT I AM NOT MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Maybe I will if I get enough reviews, for I have nullareviewophobia, or fear of having zip, zil, nada, none, 0, zippididoda, reviews hehe. Anyway now I will spout random phrases in latin that you will not understand. Semper Ubi Sub Ubi Debeo Necare Te Scirus debent cenant te. That's it folks. If I get enough reviews, I might tell you what the 2nd and third ones mean Mwahahahahahahahahaha!  
  
Next time: Heartless? Or squirrels? Which is the greater threat? You decide! 


	3. Squirrels Arise!

The dreaded chapter 3: The chapter all you flamers have been waiting for. Squirrels or heartless, who is the greater threat?  
  
Disclamer (haha another one eh?) I don't own anything ok? I don't own any money,  
  
Sora, after finally locking the last door to the last world, was 8,102,294,374 years old. So he took a time machine made out of a hyperactive guinea pig, a wheel, and a large cage, sent him back a long time, to when he was about 25 or so. By the nature of his machine the entire world went back, so the doors were locked. Woohoo. But he had overlooked one thing. The Deep Jungle still had his gummy ship! (he used his older model) This Parody Thingy takes place about a month after this. A clever squirrel named Reh-reh-reh-reee-ree-reh-reeee-reh-reh-reh-reh- reeeeeeeee, or Jim (if you want to use his full name) walked over to this gummy ship DUN DUN DUNNNNN!!!! And after a couple minutes every squirrel in the jungle was on that gummy ship, and Jim, after jumping on about every button in the ship, finally landed on the "on" button, rolled onto the "ignition" button, and they took off. The pile of gummy blocks in the back of the gummy ship proved to be more useful then possible. A/N AHHHHH MY SIS IS TALKING ABOUT RAMNA OVER MY SHOULDER!!! I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS!!! Oh she stopped. Good. The Gummi ship landed in the middle of Traverse town, where people gathered around to see the only one landing there in a couple years. The door opened, and the squirrels attacked!!! They were using thunder-g and ultima- g as weapons! People screamed and ran around, and within minutes the squirrels had gained complete control over the town. Traverse town now became "Squirrel Town" (their brains have not evolved enough to think of a better name. Anyway with a small legion of squirrels to guard the town, the squirrels made another move, this time to Halloween town (it took that long to learn how to stop) and after a small fight by Jack, Halloween town became "Squirrel Town II" and the pumpkins were replaced by squirrel heads. World after world came under their control, but at Hallow Baston the few who could still fight would make a last stand at the gates to the castle. Squall, Cloud (still laughing), Aeris, Yuffie, Sora, and yes, Cid all were there. They split up as each took on their legions of these unstoppable rodents. Cid went down (he lost his weapon), then Squall had to take on now two legions, and so he fell, and so on until only Cloud and Sora were left (Cloud gave up and sat on his sword, which was so big the squirrels could not reach him). Sora then had to face the countless waves of Squirrels. *Music in D-Minor starts* As Sora fought off squirrels after squirrels, Jim walked into the room, equipped with the Ultima-G. Sora came out to meet him, and got taken down from behind thanks to another wave of squirrels. Cloud kept laughing. Hallow Baston had fallen, oh no! 5 years later the reign of squirrels was over, for they got bored and all went back to Deep Jungle to terrorize the tigers again ^_^ So the world was saved, the squirrels bored out of their minds, and Sora still in a coma. Anyway stay tuned for the next chapter, Ihavewritersblockanddontknowwhattowritesoreviewandtellme. A/N Thanks ya'll for sticking with me through three chapters of pure sleazyness in a fanfic. I should be saying R&R but I don't care about the reading thing, you'll probably just think it is strange, so at least review people! Thanks from your friend Mouse64, the sleaziest fanficer in the entire site! Actually my brother is but I am somewhere up there, uhhhh actually the Sora/Riku things are creepier, so I guess I am not so sleazy, but I will go look it up to make sure. 


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